Jimmy and Crake
by Echodoki
Summary: From the perspective of Crake


**Jimmy and Crake**

Glenn felt he could explode at any point of time. He was bored. The world had bored him to death. Honestly, could people die from boredom he would have died the age of five. His father was nothing more than an arrogant peacock, and his mother would well deserve the name of prostitute. Mindless – brainless dare he say, naïve enough to believe he was just a picture perfect mommy's boy – thanks to his grades though, he had always been automatically categorized into that hope-of-the-generation-needless-to-worry-about-him type.

People were boring! HUMAN BEINGS WERE BORING Glenn yelled silently while he exchanged some useless – correct: polite and noble – words with his new headmaster. Oh heaven forbid he just couldn't call that a conversation. A conversation required some sort of content and what he and his parents had been doing in the past two hours was just words playing! A waste of time! And they were not even good at it! He could program a robot do better than this!

"Your son will doubtlessly be a success and the Compound will be proud of him. I am looking forward to his future progresses."

Glenn did not understand how they could just throw meaningless words around and pretend having a good in-depth conversation. Maybe he was not a genius when it came to that. Definitely he would appreciate statistics exchanges more.

First day in his new school was not a pleasant experience. His lab group mate was a useless spoiled little brat, he hated the way he acted and the way he talked, especially his abnormal enthusiasm towards him, the newcomer nerd. Well apparently that brainless kid had assumed him as his friend and instantly adopted him under his "protection". Honestly Glenn was so confused when his little new friend stood in front of him trying to block him from some obviously spoiled upper years. He was kind enough to not pointing out his height had barely reached his shoulder and he wouldn't be able to do anything in this situation.

But it was a mixed feeling of interest and something he could not name of, thankfulness probably, considering this is the first time in his life having anyone else than the guards standing in front of him TRYING TO PROTECT HIM. And what was wrong with his mind? He is only a half of the bully leader's size, not to mention there had been more than a few bad looking guy standing behind that fat ass, ready to kick his kid in the stomach at the second their "Big Bob Brother" gave them the direction.

It did however end in a better-than-he-thought way. Smart of his brainless boy to his surprise, well probably not in the most elegant manner, he SCREAMED. Yes he did, in the compound junior high, strictly ruled by the Regulation, which to his memory apparently stated something about sound level or noise control. He didn't really read through that file though, maybe he really should, would his brainless boy ever been stuck in such situation, at least he could help.

In the end those bullies were _sent_ home and who knew what would happen to them, and his brainless boy got a detention of two hours after school for a month. He already decided the topic he was going to discuss with Mr. Amber after class in the up coming month, maybe borrowing the computer lab would be a good idea.

Since then he had formed a strange relationship with his brainless boy – Jimmy as he insisted. No big difference though, it was just a name, and actually he did not like his own name. Too poetic, too emotional, loaded with too much meaningless hope that he had absolutely no intension to carry on. They hang out after school hours, like most friends did, and wandering around the neighbourhood, once even far enough to reach the outer gate of the Compound's Core. They played games, the old fashion card games and board games, and moved on to something more interesting. And he could still remember his brainless boy's I-disagree-with-you-on-this-topic snort whenever they ran into a discussion about games.

Then it came to the senior high school. He had been able to pull his brainless boy up to where he was now in Junior High but Senior High is just a different story. Even he himself struggled a little bit to leave the forever-number-two-genius girl far behind him. School works for the first time became a little interesting to him. As a price to pay, he spent less and less time with his brainless boy. It really was a relief at first, being free from a burden carried for no reason for so long, but why would he care? They had less to discuss, what he was doing now his boy just wouldn't ever understand. That was a pity because he had really been an interesting people to talk with.

They still hang out occasionally, watching live execution for fun, correct: he was watching his boy watching live execution for fun, as a way of entertainment from the heavy loads of studying, and surprisingly when his boy found out the truth he had been very forgiving in his case. The frog thing just grossed both of them out – although he pretended to be calm and curious, it was impressing his boy could stay with him watching these disgusting clips just for his sake. It felt warm, really. Then there were the porn sites. Well, what would you expect from two teenage boys with no guardians around? It started with them simply watching silently, awkward at first but not after the third time that his boy started masturbating. To be honest, he was not very interested in the exercise of making offspring, but upon realizing it would be too embarrassing for his boy to do it alone, he joined his action.

And very soon their relationship just twisted into something weird. Damned alcohol, why did that thing even exist? The after exam party went wild and he lost control, the next morning he woke up with a naked boy in his arms. To be fair, he was naked as well. Teenage boys had been the most dangerous and incredible creatures on earth, they had to be! Glenn remembered every single detail of his boy's body – his tender skin, his lean muscle, his unruly hair, his dimple on his right cheek when he smiled, his lashes were impossibly long and shielded perfectly over his moist puppy eyes.

That morning was a stone thrown into his never-changing life – a surprise, maybe a pleasant one, Crake thought sometimes, when he was alone in the genetic laboratories working on his Crakers. He did not tell Jimmy, he once wanted to name them Crackneys, but that idea was thrown away in his co-workers' confusing eyes.

Crake wondered, how things could go downhill so quickly, one day he was cuddling with his Jimmy in his bed in the Watson-Crick Residence building, joking about his stupid TAs and his experiments, listening to his brainless boy whining about his sex life and his classmates, the next day he was standing in front of this walking corpse, offering a job to his former soul mate. Looking into his dull and indifferent eyes, unable to see the slightest of his former self – his innocence, his purity, his brightness and his darkness, his humour and his boredom, his mischievousness and his seriousness, his sorrow and his pleasure. His Jimmy was gone – his life was taken away by this dirty and ruthless world.

Crake firmly believed.

They still had sex every so often, Jimmy's body mature but weak, lacking the proper exercise to keep the muscles and health in shape; his breath polluted by a hint of alcohol, his sweat smelt decay. Crake held the sleeping body tight, resting his jaw on his shoulder.

_But it wouldn't really matter._

Crake held him closer.

_Because I loved him._

Then it came Oryx. That prostitute.

Or maybe he should not blame her. He was always in the labs, or in the conferences with his co-workers, or in his office planning for the next move, or at the product lines observing his Crakers. In general, he was not there – he was not there with his Jimmy, so he had no right to blame him – or her, for cheating on him. It was funny to see them hiding around, pretending to be normal friends, ignoring his glares, fooling themselves that he was not aware of their affair.

And there was his Jimmy, smelling faint perfume, jasmine and water lily, under the warmth of vanilla, formulated by himself, since his Crakers just wouldn't stand the poorly synthetic scent. There was HIS Jimmy, face flushed with lust, gasping under his body, trembling as him whispering words beside his ears, crying out when he suddenly hit on a certain point. His eyes lost focus when orgasm struck, syllables escaping his mouth unable to be identified – but Crake knew for certain, it was not his name.

Time had come, decisions had to be made. This world had to be destroyed, for his own sake, and for his Jimmy and their children's sake. _For a better future_. He left the Compound, leaving his Jimmy in charge. He knew his brainless boy, knew him deep to the bones and deeper, he knew he would take this opportunity to develop the relationship with his maid, and he barely had any chance to stop it. He did once considered about locking his Jimmy into his house (and to some extent he did it) but Jimmy was a bird, freedom was his soul and he would be damned to take that away from his boy.

Or maybe he should. Hatred would probably be better than ignorance, Crake decided.

Spotting his boy and his maid kissing in the corner of a hallway, Crake was not too surprised. The building was not that big to be honest, and his room was just around _that_ corner. _They didn't bother hide it_. The pain was overwhelming, he had been trying not to look at this simple _fact_, pretending his Jimmy still belonged to him, but it was over now. It was time to accept the fact, and as a scientist it was simpler than everything – hypothesize, observe, analyze, and accept the result. There was nothing difficult about that.

He should have known better.

He should have known earlier.

He should have accepted earlier.

The thought was crazy – maybe he could compromise, maybe he could share his Jimmy with that prostitute. The thought caused him nausea, but if for Jimmy, he would do it. Then he dismissed that idea, his Jimmy was HIS and no one else was allowed to take him away, even Jimmy himself. That prostitute deserved the most painful death, for stealing his Jimmy away. Anger rose from his heart, he stood in front of that woman with a shot of poison in his left pocket, just one stab, and push, it didn't need to aim at the veins, the poison was deadly and fast. Looking at her eyes, dark and cold, he realized he couldn't do it.

He suddenly realized, from the very beginning, Jimmy never belonged to him. It was her he masturbated at all along, it was her he trying everything to find, it was her and it had always been her.

He felt his world suddenly collapse into desperation. He couldn't stand it. His life had always been depending on Jimmy, he was rescued by Jimmy from the sea of loneliness, and everything he had done was for Jimmy's sake, he was nothing but a machine without Jimmy. The only reason he was still living was Jimmy.

And that reason was now taken away.

Maybe he should give that boy one last chance.

Maybe he would choose him in the end.

Maybe, after so many years of friendship if not love, Jimmy would pity him a little for only once and choose him instead.

"I'm counting on you."

He smiled, because he knew the decision had been made.

Death was nothing but a void of darkness.

He saw his boy, young and innocent, standing in front of him, smiling. He reached out to take his hand. He knew, he knew his Jimmy would choose him.

Fragments of memories rushed over his sight, him and Jimmy chatting in the cafeteria; Jimmy's triumphic laughter after his victory of a chess game; him sitting beside Jimmy watching him watching a funny video; Jimmy's arms around his shoulders when he failed an experiment… Like tides crushing against the shore, he felt his body numb after being washed over and over by the ice-cold water.

And he felt warmth.

For this one time in forever, he saw nothing but himself in Jimmy's eyes.


End file.
